#wellbeingwednesday

How are you doing?

Things seem to be settling down… yet it all still feels a little surreal to me.

Perhaps it is a nice reminder we still need to check in and take care of ourselves. Perhaps even looking to how we balance all the dimensions of lives. Our WHOLE lives. All the dimensions matter!

I recommend talking a walk and having a little listen to this podcast episode with the brilliant Dr. John Arden. It provides a bit of understanding around the why of all the things we ‘know’ are good for us - but need a little motivation to get back on track.

Seriously though, enjoy with a walk. After all physical activity is one of those real goodies for all the dimensions of our wellbeing.

Warmly,

Kaitlin x

Chasing vs. Attracting | The Cinderella Story

I recently had a session with this wonderful, intuitive woman. She is wise and kind and has an etheric quality to her which can calm me down in an instant…Here are some wise words from her, for all of us who may be feeling a sense of disconnection and need or a yearning which feels out of our reach. You can learn more about her work here www.jenniferwillemsen.com

Do you ever notice that how you do one thing, is how you do most things? 

When I look back at my love life, as well as my financial life (two areas of life who are very much intertwined), I notice a recurring pattern: oftentimes I was in a chasing vibration.

I was chasing a boy. I was chasing money. 

First of all, the chasing vibration was "giving" me the direct opposite of what I desired (read: lack of love, lack of money).

This is because if you need to chase something, it means that you are focused on the absence of it. It's like you are saying to the Universe "I need this", which will make it less likely that you will actually attract it into your life experience. 

But second and most importantly: it damaged my self-worth. 

Funny... As an analogy, my True Self is showing me an image of Cinderella. In the movie, she's cleaning the floors, doing all kinds of below-her-worth chores for her unloving family...

...until she decides to wear her beautiful dress, step into her worth and take a chance!

Throughout her brave journey, she meets amazing people who believe in her and show her the way, and when she arrives at the ball, she is surrounded by eyes who truly value her. 

She has always been meant for more, but she could only access this once she started to act in alignment with her worth. 

You see, the way you "speak" to yourself is so important, and I'm not even talking about the conversations between you and your monkey mind here! I'm talking about what you do and how you behave, and the signals you send off to yourself with that behaviour.

Someone who knows her worth doesn't chase anyone or anything. Instead, she has fun executing on inspired action. She is magnetic. She simply attracts. ✨

Much love,

Jennifer

"I feel drained after being on Zoom all day" - Yes, that's normal, and here's why.

I teach a class every week for 2 hours at the University. It’s usually one of the highlights of my week - I leave the room feeling energised and alive. I enjoy the banter, the give and take, and conversation and the energy in the room.

I now teach the same class online. Afterward, I feel drained, exhausted, almost teary, especially if I’ve had multiple zoom meetings during the day. Same class, same content, same people - yet a completely different personal experience.

This is a completely normal response to moving from face to face interaction, to online. Village was founded on the very concepts presented below, by Dr. Fiona Kerr, Founder, and CEO at the NeuroTech Institute.

Our brain responds so differently to face to face connection. We are, of course, social beings. We are wired for it - it enriches our personal experience and sense of connection. I’ll let Dr. Kerr go into the nitty-gritty.

Now, what’s the point you may ask, of telling you this when you can’t do anything about it for now?

The point is, to let you know that it’s OK not to be 100% ok with our lives online. It’s ok to need and schedule fewer meetings during the day. And there are some ways you can combat the effects:

CONNECT more meaningfully with those you do have contact with. Lots of touch, and looking into the eyes of your family. Hug them more, talk about things and look at each other. Watch a movie holding hands. Whatever it is, do it mindfully. I know I know…You're probably ready to strangle them after being cooped up this long. This might help (connecting, not strangling :)

EARTH yourselves. After a day of Zoom I’m in the soil. Literally, I’m either weeding, planting or lying flat on my back on the grass. There is A LOT of info out there on earthing, and whether you’re a believer or not, we all know that getting into the open air, or into nature helps to heal us.

BATHE in salted water. Take the time to dim the lights, light a candle and soak in the tub. Pop some magnesium salt flakes in and let your body relax.

UNPLUG from devices overnight. Turn off the wi-fi overnight. Keep a journal by the bed. You will sleep better I promise you. This morning I woke up and did my meditation and Faith, 9, lying next to me asked if she could do one too! Miraculous if you know Faith… So we meditated together. Journal, draw and start the day with intentions.

There are lots of things you can do to recharge. I would love to hear some of your suggestions! I’m getting off the screen now…I have some seeds to plant :)

Moving Through Anxiety To The ‘Mighty Me’ You Want To Be

This one is for the mummas. For the ladies.

Well, actually, it is for everyone, because we ALL get anxious.

But, it also is true that we women are significantly more likely to experience clinical levels of anxiety. We are also paid less than men for the same work, to do more domestic tasks, to be seen as less likeable when we are seen as confident (and vis-versa), are more likely to be sexually harassed… and so on.

So, it is no wonder we feel anxious.

Interested in learning some skills to help you be the Mighty Mumma we know you are?!

Have a listen to this Wisdom for Wellbeing podcast interview with Clinical Psychologist Dr. Jill Stoddard. Dr. Stoddard is skilled in explaining stress, anxiety, fear and the like, as well as detailing effective strategies to move forward creating a life by design – a mighty life. She is open in sharing her own struggles, and clearly lives all the wisdom she shares here today.

So, your first mighty action – put in those ear buds!

Until soon,

Kaitlin xx

www.embodiedpsychology.com.au | www.wisdomforwellbeingpodcast.com

You are Alive for a Reason

"It's 'relationship' that is missing. It's the heart that is missing."

I recently posted very openly on Facebook, as I have vowed to do, about the struggles of being home and working with children. (I also share the good times). And what I find by doing this, is this:

People open up. People share. People call me to either check-in or to check out, blurt out, vent and purge. People feel connected and give themselves permission to be vulnerable, fearful and less than perfect because it's already out there, being said. So often we hold back for fear of looking weak. I have spoken to countless leaders in large corporate organisations who have seen this at work - brave leaders sharing those parts of themselves - and its been the turning point for many.

My recent paper in Health Psychology discusses the critical need for emotional support through connection and authenticity with real people. It's a gift you can give that will inspire and move someone else, and in turn, positively effect their loved ones in the short and long term.

This moving video from which the quotes above are sourced, is well worth the watch, now more than ever. We have everything we need to be the good in someone's life.

Connecting with Children

Nag nag nag nag nag nag….maybe this will help. x

Big Emotions Happening this Week?

We’re all spending a lot more time together in a small space.

Everything feels ‘different’, uncertain and scary.

Of course, this means that we may be experiencing bigger emotions… and our small people might be experiencing bigger emotions. Eek!

But, rather than this being the perfect mess, it could be a brilliant opportunity to teach your little ones how to feel the feels. And, it could be a chance to practice asking for the support you need from different people in your life to get through this challenging time.

Interested in how you can get more comfortable with the uncomfortable?!

Have a listen to this Wisdom for Wellbeing interview with the brilliant psychologist Tiffany Rochester.

Wishing you and yours well.

~Kaitlin Harkess

embodiedpsychology.com.au / wisdomforwellbeingpodcast.com

Zoom not cutting it?

Its perfectly normal for you to be missing REAL face to face connection. We are energised by it, fulfilled by it. Whilst we are blessed to live in an age where we can move work home, stay in the online book club, and FaceTime with loved ones, the increase in screen time has us now more than ever in need of REAL connection - (with our loved ones at home of course #stayhome).

Simplest Breathing Practice for Calming

Hi I’m Shawna and I’m a spiritual mentor. During this current health crisis we’re left facing so much uncertainty. It’s easy to go into survival mode and when we do our breath becomes shallow. You probably don’t realize it, but your breath is a simple, yet powerful tool. It’s free and it’s literally right under your nose.

Your breath is your link to life and when life is feeling out of your control it’s one of the fastest ways you can regain some (internal) control.

There’s so much research that shows how effective belly breathing is. However, there's a mistake you may make trying to 'belly breathe.’ Don’t worry because I've got a tip for you!

This breath will help you stay calm, centered + focused and it'll bring more ease into your life.

Give it a go and see if you can keep it going while I continue to tell you the benefits.

Creating a Beautiful Play Space for your Children

I’m Amelia from My Soulful Space and today I would love to help you create a beautiful play space. Especially at this time when we are at home with our children for much longer periods, creating a space that brings more serenity and calm into our home can make all the difference to our days.

There are many benefits to having a simple clutter-free play space which include:

• Your child feels more relaxed and at ease

• They are less distracted

• They are able to focus on one activity for longer periods of time

• They play independently for longer

• They can be more creative and imaginative

• It takes less time to keep the play space clean and tidy.

And for the parents, the benefits are that you have more time for yourself to do what you need to do during the day!

Step 1: Declutter your child’s toys

Decide if you would like to do this with your child or on your own….it can be fun to do together if your child is at the right age (very young or a bit older!) but I find that with my children who are 2 and 4 it is a bit tricky, so I try to do it when I have time by myself.

If I am feeling inspired and have the time, I will gather ALL of the toys from every area of the house and put them in a big pile in one room. If you are limited with time or that feels a little overwhelming for you, simply declutter one small area at a time eg the toy box or the art and craft box.

What toys to remove from the play space:

• broken toys

• ugly toys that you just don’t like looking at

• Noisy and flashy toys

• Toys that you have multiples of-just keep out 1 or 2 favorites

• Toys that are not age-appropriate

• Toys that are character related or that only have one specific use

• Toys that your child simply doesn’t play with anymore (or at the moment

Toys to keep:

• Beautiful toys that your child uses frequently

• Toys that have multiple uses (eg blocks, dress-ups)

• Toys that you love looking at

• Toys that you enjoy playing with together with your child

What to do with the toys you aren’t keeping out:

• Donate to charity or gift to a friend

• recycle or bin if they are broken and unfixable

• Gift special toys with meaning or that you are reluctant to part with to a friend’s child for a special occasion such as a birthday. Preloved gifts are great for the environment, more cost-effective and have meaning. We now tell friends that we love preloved gifts for our children’s birthdays, and the children love it too!

• Store them in cupboards in your home to swap out so that the children have a chance to miss them and then enjoy them more!

Step 2: Create the space

• Place like toys together and create little nooks. I like to put my daughter’s dolls and imaginary house play in one area. Arts and crafts in another area and my son’s blocks and little cars in a little spot of their own. They will both end up sharing the toys or playing separately but it’s nice to have some cohesion of where toys are placed.

• Create a little reading nook and a special chair or cushion.

• Tidy like toys into boxes and baskets that are easy for your child to get to and easy to clean away.

Create a mini space if you are in a small home:

• If your child’s play space is shared with your lounge room space, create a little corner with a lovely rug and a couple of baskets of toys. Try to keep your child’s toys together in one area so that they can feel like they have a little special space.

Enjoy creating your child’s beautiful play space!

It's Podcast Time! Connecting Through Motherhood Struggles & Creating Your Village with Tiffany De Sousa Machado

#WellbeingWednesday

Wellbeing is a term I really appreciate. It captures something broader then Mental Health - it reflects the biopsychosocial elements that, when aligned, support us in our thriving. I do believe we all have the capacity to thrive, to cultivate rich wellbeing in our lives.

However, as you probably know, motherhood is a particularly challenging season. With many joys, but many struggles. So, I wanted to share this Wisdom for Wellbeing podcast interview with The Village Foundation founder Tiffany De Sousa Machado.

This episode is going to resonate with all the mumma’s out there, but I think it will hit home more broadly in the discussion around the importance of community and exploration of how we can create this in our modern world (*update: and now, our socially distanced world!). You will, no doubt, feel connected to Tiffany as she transparently shares her own losses and challenges, including her lived experience with postpartum depression, and her struggles balancing her work and family. Tiffany also shares sociological reflections, which offer a useful framework from which to understand the all-to-common experience of postpartum stress and isolation.

I hope you find Tiffany’s wisdom as validating and connecting as I did. It is certainly important to know that ‘wisdom’ is sometimes simply recognising we don’t know it all - and we are not supposed to have it ‘all figured out’. I think this is a particularly important message in these uncertain times of COVID19, where we are all just doing our best to figure it out, stay safe, and support our community.

Wishing you and yours well,

Kaitlin xx

www.embodiedpsychology.com.au / www.drkaitlin.com

Wisdom for Wellbeing Podcast - Season 1 - Episode 6