A friend sent this on to me. I mean a real friend - one who hears all my fears and doubts, one who I call when I am at my absolute lowest, one who shares the same, with me. Whilst long, the interview is littered with absolute gold throughout, almost hitting you by surprise at times. Right to the very end, there are moments of pure wisdom, and truth that I could feel in my body as they unfolded.
Village is built on the premise that the more open and honest we are about the real experience of parenting (or of anything for that matter), the more we encourage others to do the same. The more we break down the stigma and quash the shame. The healthier our relationships will be, our infants will be, our families and societies will be. It is built on individualized, values-based program of support. It is built on the foundation that all emotions and thoughts are valid and must be felt and acknowledged in order to shift them.
A note to new mothers (which can be applied to literally any human being):
You are not supposed to be ‘over-competent’ at this. You are learning and going to experience every emotion under the sun, multiple times a day. Observe them. Feel them and know that they are a normal part of this, and that they will pass.
What you value is not the same as what someone else values - comparing against another is futile. Focus on what makes you happy, what you desire to be and achieve, and grow that within you, despite what anyone else is doing.
Take tiny steps towards those goals each day. That’s how you do this…tiny steps.
Trust yourself. If you cant do that right now, ask yourself, “what would (insert someone you admire) do?”
Journal each day, if only for a minute. Write and allow the emotions to spill out onto the page, as you observe them. You are not your emotions. You are witnessing them.
SHARE Share share. When you share, you give permission for others to share too.
Thank you, Dr. Susan David, for your important work - for validating the foundations of Village and for your devotion to truth and to the messy and un-sexy research area of emotions.
Profound work, and so incredibly important, as depression continues to soar in our ever-positive seeking culture.