The human being who does not wish to belong to the mass must merely cease being comfortable with himself; let him follow his conscience which shouts at him: 'Be yourself! What you are at present doing, opining, and desiring, that is not really you. - Friedrich Nietzsche
Eek! Being oneself is hard work. It’s so vulnerable to open and expose the depth of our being...which is not always aligned with the ‘status quo’. It makes sense in evolutionary terms - we would not survive out on our own, we needed the tribe for protection. So, to have been ‘outcast’ was death - and hence the emotion of shame is SO UNCOMFORTABLE (it evolved to make sure we did not step out of line from the tribe). The trouble is, sometimes (depending on our tribe) there is a disconnect with our own truth in favour of this ‘keeping up appearances’ - it certainly does not feed one’s soul.
SOME OPTIONS
Develop a new tribe that feels in more alignment with you, or where you feel safer to express yourself.
Find unique ways to honour your history and nurture all parts of yourself.
Practice making peace with those shame feelings, with being vulnerable - be it through reflective practices like meditation and journaling, or with the support of a safe friend or therapist.
Remember: all these emotions, the big feels that often hold one back, they are HUMAN - everyone feels them, even if the triggers are sometimes unique.
So, the challenge is, figure out what you need to grow. What requirements do you have at this moment? Go as slow as you need, remember, there is no finish line we are racing to - the magic is in the movement.
Beautiful art by @howamifeelingg
Text by Kaitlin